WHAT-HO!

entry of march 2, 2026

mood: could be better, could be worse
music: "greatest hits" playlist
currently: working on this website

I've had an interesting day today. My days have usually been either really good or really bad, but this is the first day in a long while where I've felt rather ambivalent. I went on a long walk today and did a lot of reflecting and realized that I'm a bit of a pushover, but it's not too big of a problem. I've been growing a spine lately.

Anyways, now that we're past the opening paragraph that's going to be all over this website for a bit, let me get into the meat of what I was up to today. Nothing. I know it sounds like I did a lot today, but really, I've basically done nothing productive outside of work on this website. I went to school and existed and had my little moment and then went home. I wrote two 500 word essays for yet another scholarship, but I'm not going to count that because that's just something I had to do instead of being something that I wanted to do. Like, I wouldn't consider a good grade on a test as productive because I had to take the test.

The big moment today was when I was walking on the treadmill in physical education. My teacher was absent today and the substitute didn't care if we used our phones, so I got to listen to some music while walking. At one point, I was listening to Linger by The Cranberries, and I think it was that song that really put me into an introspective state. A week ago, I basically dumped my closest online friends that have been in my life for around 3-4 years for a guy that I know is going to never like me back. At the same time, though, who the hell was purposely excluding me and then lying about it and making it sound like everything was fine between us? Also those friends. So really, I don't feel too bad about the situation. We've been on and off since November so it was about time our relationship got euthanized. At most, I'm a little lonely because we used to call every night and now I'm just laying there until I fall asleep, but I have other friends. And music.

I'm realizing that I sound incredibly stupid writing all of this out, so I'm going to not dwell on what's already been done and instead, I'm going to write about what's happening in the future. Dungeons and Dragons has suddenly become very relevant in my life again. I'm rereading the Dragonlance Chronicles books because they're adding Raistlin to Idle Champions on Wednesday, which I'm absolutely excited about because this means that we're probably getting Caramon too. If everything goes as planned, they'll add Tanis and realize that they need more gingers and go back to Acquisitions Inc to add Viari, and my life will be complete. If I don't win the giveaway in the Idle Champions Discord and get a free Raistlin black robes skin pack, I'm going to be bummed out, but I'm prepared to spend money on him anyways so IDGAF.

Back to real life, I'm not very thrilled for the rest of the week. Friday will be my first EMDR session in a few weeks since I was out-of-state over vacation, so I'm going to have to get used to being incredibly uncomfortable for the entirety of Friday night and Saturday morning again. It's slowly getting better, though. There are weeks where I can go home and not feel disgusted with myself, but of course every so often I get home and just have to cry because suddenly I'm eight years old again and Redacted Redacted Redacted Redacted or whatever. I know exactly what I'm referring to but I'm gatekeeping this. Send me $5 and I'll traumadump to you so you can base an OC off of me.

I unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you're processing my writing) don't have much else to say. If one of my former friends is somehow reading this, I just wanted to say that you guys are actually still on my Discord friends list for a reason. Reach out if you want, or don't, I couldn't care less at this point. Moving on from that, though, I hope tomorrow is a good day. I'm going to try to sleep soon, and in the morning I'm going to carpool with a friend and get Dunkin. Hank out.
Go back